Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Things Balog does not understand

Bands that try to make screaming hardcore appropriate for pre-teen girls. Just stop, you're embarrassing us all.

People who play 4E. You make baby Jesus cry more than THAC0 ever did.

"Broke" college kids who A. have a $3000 Mac Boink & B. are getting funded by Mommy and Daddy. Try paying for everything yourself you whiny little bastards.

SxE (or is that sXe/) kiddies attacking people for smoking. Makes me want to carry a pack of unfiltered Camels just in case I run into a group of 'em.

People who give money to bums. You do realize he's been trying to fill that gas can for the last two weeks, right?

Young bums. Ok, so if you've spent a few decades screwing your life up I can understand the idea of being reduced to begging. But seeing a healthy early 20's kid begging just because he doesn't feel like working floors me. And by "floors me" I mean "putting me into a towering rage."

Why anyone likes Superman. Invincible except for one super rare substance, and he still gets his ass handed to him every comic/episode/movie.

Hipsters. I love irony too kids, but you've ventured past that into asshattery. Shave that stupid mustache off and get a job.

Craig's List Casual Encounters. The internet's glory hole, now with %97 more chance of bots!

Craig's List Missed Connections. Seriously, just go talk to "Cute girl on the 57" already you pansy.

Craig's List content restrictions. "Looking for bareback gang bang, I'll supply the meth" is a-ok, but I can't sell my shotgun?

Ebay auctions with over $100 in shipping on normal size/weight items. Seriously, does anyone fall for that?

People under the age of 75 who use AOL. That company needs to DIAF already.

Fantasy football. You do realize how homo-erotic this whole thing is, right Buford?

Chess notation. For whatever reason it just confuses the hell outta me.

Why YouTube hates me. Seriously, just let a brother watch his Horde Zepplin already jerkface. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t_ha9yPdoY&feature=related=

Apparently, html as I can't get that link to embed.

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